And sometimes it’s the classic entitled bullshit I face on Twitter all the time: I’m not a jerk for dumping someone who poses a risk to my health, right? It’s just a simple question to you: should I date this person, yes or no?
Why on Earth would I knowingly choose to put myself in danger like that? But to me, it feels like you’re asking me to justify my value.
I was incredibly comforted by one nurse practitioner I saw.
She told me she'd gotten it at my age and then picked up a family portrait on her desk, featuring a catalog-perfect husband, kids, and dogs on the beach.
None of these guys started screaming at me, they THANKED me and said they would get tested – none of them had it -YAY!!!! And while I’m not an expert in herpes, per se, I do know a number of people who have it, and continue to lead rich, happy, limitless dating lives. Because one second you’re saying “No way” to a guy with herpes, and the next, you’re praying that a guy doesn’t judge you for this one minor thing. According to Herpes.com, 50-80 percent of the American adult population has oral herpes. The scariest part of this whole thing is the staggering ignorance about herpes – a disease that undoubtedly affects someone that you know. Well, let’s just say that I have close friends, clients, and ex-girlfriends who have genital herpes, and none of them are traumatized, hospitalized or ostracized because of it. Just know that if you have the disease, you may be entirely asymptomatic, which would mean that you could potentially transmit it without knowing.
And if you do have symptoms, they are easily controlled with the use of drugs.
The facts on herpes are actually quite clear when you do research online: herpes transmission is not that simple, particularly when both parties make an effort to use condoms, antivirals, dental dams, and so forth.
But I was sure I would never have sex again, that no one would ever love me again — it was very, very hard for me at 19.I know this guy that actually married a girl with the herps.He didn't have it himself at the time, but he didn't care and accepted her with open arms. He's a better man than me that's for sure, because I don't think I can date someone with the herps, even if I was the meat between a Mila and Natalie lesbian sandwich.That was the first moment I thought that I might have a normal life. Firstly, it was painful and gross, and then I was worried about the implications it'd have on my then-relationship and potential future relationships. And I felt incredibly stupid and ashamed, like I could have avoided it if I had just been more careful and, oh, I dunno, refused oral sex from my then-boyfriend whenever he had even the slightest hint of a cold sore. I've always practiced safe sex, so it felt really unfair, aside from anything else.But then again, herpes is tricky because you can pass it on without any apparent symptoms. And how would you say it has affected your sex life since? Because I have the oral strain on my genitals, it's nearly impossible to transmit, especially since I can't handle hormonal birth control and therefore have to use condoms every time anyway.