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    Dating in middle age after divorce

    By Tracy Achen If you are thinking about dating during divorce ... You may think that you are free to start a new relationship once the decision is made to separate or divorce.

    But it is wise to hold off on the dating scene until after your divorce is finalized for a number of strategic, legal, and emotional reasons.

    Like Jennifer, she needs some advice but is concerned about how she can make the transition into dating easy on her children. He'd like to date again, and some of his friends say he should start looking for a woman now — after all, he's getting divorced soon.

    But John knows better because he's still married, and dating now would go against God's desires.

    But contrary to what you might think, there are thousands of normal, healthy people online looking to meet someone great.” Elizabeth, 52, had been married for almost 25 years when her husband told her he’d met someone else.

    “The two things I remember very clearly were that his face had gone that purple colour it went when he was feeling defensive, and the other was that I was so unbelievably stupid,” she says. I thought I had my life all mapped out and arranged – I thought I knew what my future looked like.” Three years on, she says, she barely remembers anything about the months after her husband left.

    If you have children, then you also need to realize that it's in your best interest to try to keep a cordial relationship with your husband.

    “I thought the recent strange behaviour and care with his phone was because he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary. “It was too complicated a set of feelings; the fury, the devastation, the rehashing of our lives together in the middle of the night, questioning every lovely moment we’d shared.

    It was a blur, but I emerged eight months later a stone heavier and feeling like I needed to do something to move on.” So Elizabeth tried online dating and, while she says it certainly had its frustrating moments, after eight months she met Andrew, 51 and they are planning to move in together in time for Christmas.

    Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries.

    From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine.

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