I am especially grateful to have the opportunity to hear from pastors’ wives since much of my focus is on pastors.
Our recent, informal survey simply asked the open-ended question: “What do you wish you had been told before you became a minister’s wife?
There are beautiful, generous, wise people in the congregations and on staff.
So I’m not trying to disparage churches in general; I’m only describing an experience that I believe lies in the blind spot of many churches.
“Needless to say, they looked disappointed when I told them I had no children and was not married.” While there are more second career individuals becoming pastors later in life than before, there are also more unmarried or divorced individuals in ordained ministry than previous generations.
While I applaud this new trend of diversity in ministry, the reality can also be hard for single ministers who are more inclined to feel isolated and lonely in their call.
The remedy for this–in a sense, the armor which protects one from such a vamp–the writer goes on to say, is to “drink water from your own cistern” ().
He gets rather explicit in his counsel to a young husband to satisfy himself intimately with his wife and with no one else. “The sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the Lord” (I Samuel ).
) who will enter their church with an equally enthusiastic spouse and together, their young family will save their church by bringing in “the young people.” Another friend of mine, a 35-year-old woman who is a pastor of a small rural church, shared her painful story about not only being single in ministry, but also being divorced.
“The day will come when a woman will sit in your office and proposition you. If your marriage is in trouble or if you are not up-to-date in your relationship with your Lord, you could get in big trouble fast.” I raised my hand. Taylor,” I said, “do you really believe that every one of us in this room will face this? I was thankful I had gotten this thing right in my office that day.) The writer of Proverbs tried to do the same thing Dr.
” My mind was incapable of imagining a scenario in which a woman–any woman–would sit in a pastor’s office and try to seduce him. Taylor did for us in seminary that day: prepare the young lad for what he would be facing down the road.
” Thank you to the pastors’ wives who were willing to give us such great feedback. One pastor’s wife told us that her role was like getting a job for which she never applied.
And thanks to Chris Adams for doing the survey and to Amy Jordan for assembling the data. She wrote this funny script in her response: Husband: “Honey, I got you a job today.” Wife: “Really? I have plenty to do here running the household and raising the kids. Me stay home with the kids so you could fully dedicate yourself to the ministry.” Husband: “Yeah, yeah.