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    Men confused dating

    At first, you were taken in by his charm and impressed by his self-confidence.

    Those first dates often felt like a dream come true when he took charge and entertained you with his boisterous personality.

    I guess that’s because most of you are too busy “hanging out.” What is that, guys? And if talking sounds too serious, maybe we’ll start hearing ‘vicinitizing.’ That’s a word I just made up, and it means that you and your female friend are often in the same vicinity, but it doesn’t get all intense by insinuating that you’re actually in that general location together on purpose. She was looking for a grown man, and I was sick of playing games. So do you know what we did very early in our relationship? I’ve got your lives in my hands, but I don’t want this to get serious.

    When did men become so afraid to make a commitment, to take the lead, to say what they want, to make long term plans, to set goals, to pursue, to talk about the future?

    It isn’t difficult to imagine that for some, the promise of a bit more social currency and safety could be compelling reasons to seek out an opposite-sex partner, even unconsciously.

    Americans have a well-documented tendency to drastically overestimate the percentage of queer folks among us.

    I left that conversation confused, because confusion is the name of the game these days. USA Today did a survey of singles a while back, and they discovered something that’s been apparent for years: nobody has any idea what’s going on in their own love lives. And if they don’t want that, then they aren’t worth your energy. If she still wants to pretend she’s in tenth grade, let her live that fantasy with someone else. But all of them were eventually destroyed by problems that were clearly evident in the first, I don’t know, five minutes or so. Our disastrous modern approach to dating (or whatever) isn’t all the fault of men. All you can do, single dudes, is get your own selves together. Here’s some brutal honesty for you: if you ‘aren’t ready for something serious,’ then you need to go get yourself ready and leave these ladies alone until you do. I just want to tell you that, like, I don’t want things to get weird or whatever, but I’m not really being a captain right now.

    Close to 70 percent don’t know if they’re on a date when they go on a date. Sometimes even hanging out reeks of too much commitment, in which case ‘talking’ can be used. With Alissa, things were pretty clear from the get-go. You can’t go out and have sex (I mean, ‘hook up,’ as the middle schoolers at the lunch table might call it) and then claim that you ‘aren’t ready for something serious.’ It’s too late, friend. Can you imagine if an airline pilot pulled that kind of stunt? I mean, yeah, I chose to take a plane full of souls up 32 thousand feet into the air at a cruising speed of 600 miles per hour, but I don’t want you think that this is, like, , you know?

    A man with a big ego, however, is the type you want to be wary of because he will be operating with a false sense of self that makes him unstable.But then again, I was still in love with my own boyfriend too. I was in love with two people and I was ecstatic with the fact that I had two people who loved me back!But I didn’t ever assume I was in love with two people, I just knew I was cheating on both of them.You like someone a lot, you find them attractive, and you’re sexually excited to be with them, and bam! It’s ridiculous to assume you can’t fall in love with two people.Many teenagers and even lovers in committed relationships feel threatened when they find themselves in love with two people. You really don’t love your partner any less just because you find yourself falling in love with someone new.

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